


Attack of the Dancing Beer Bottle Labels

by leiamoody



Series: The Larger World [16]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rise of Empire Era - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3241895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiamoody/pseuds/leiamoody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han, Luke, Leia discover the hazards of peeling labels off beer bottles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attack of the Dancing Beer Bottle Labels

"What are you doing?" Leia asked. 

Han and Luke were seated at the dejarik table with twenty-four dark blue smokeglass bottles sitting on top of it. 

Leia looked down and noticed the pile of gold and black labels carelessly scattered at her feet.

"The stupid importer didn't take off the labels like I asked them to," Han replied, jabbing his thumbnail under the label affixed to the bottle in front of him.

"Why should they have done that?" 

"Do you know what these are?" Han leaned forward and handed one of the other bottles to his wife.

She took it from him, and read the label out loud. "Zeitgeist Brew."

"All the way from the Corporate Sector. A little gift from Roa and Lwyll for my birthday."

Leia definitely wasn't getting the point. "Isn't that a good thing?"

Han dug his fingernails into the label on the bottle still in his right hand. "Yeah, it's real generous." The label started to peel away from the bottle's surface, in three small shreds, anyway.

"So why are you taking the labels off a gift?" 

"You've never seen labels from the Sector." He peeled the rest of the label from the bottle in his hand. "Every single thing packaged for consumers has a bunch of crap loaded into them. Whether it's sealer beans or a bottle of beer, all the product information is jammed into the product labels. Where it was made, how it was made, the ingredients, probably even what the fourth guy on the assembly line was wearing under his jumpsuit that day."

"But there's nothing on here but the name of the beer."

Luke suddenly spoke up. "There's a surprise hidden in the paper."

Leia was now seriously wondering if they were all suffering from a sudden case of delusions-in-the-key-of-grandeur. "What does that mean?"

"You'd have to open up one of them to see it activated," her brother responded, returning to the task of setting another beer bottle free from its oppressive label.

"Well let me see one in action." Leia turned the bottle in her hand, moving her thumb towards the cap...but was stopped by Luke placing his hand on her arm.

"It's scary. You don't want to see what comes out of one of those."

"It can't be that bad." 

Han shook his head. "Trust us on this. It ain't pretty."

"I've seen things far more bizarre than animated beer labels." 

Han sighed. "Okay, suit yourself."

Leia placed her thumb on the cap, then pressed down on it. The cap flipped off and fell to the floor.

Then commenced the light show; dancing green, red, and yellow symbols jumped out from the black label. They formed a three-dimensional ring around the bottle, swirling and twirling mere inches from the surface. The characters glowed, and the colors seemed to get brighter with each passing second.

Leia was astounded. She wanted to drop the thing and let it break...but she was in too much shock to let it go.

After one of the longest moments she would ever experience, the dancing lights dissolved and faded away. 

Leia stared at the bottle, then looked at her husband.

"I told you so."

She nodded. Then she put the bottle back down on the table. "Move over," she said to Luke. "I'll help you peel the rest of those labels. Then we can take them all outside and burn them."


End file.
